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As a married woman, I get to see the other side of the dating world these days – that of the ‘matchmaker’ – and wonder what message is being sent to my generation of bright, religiously passionate women., an online newspaper for Orthodox Jewish college students, I had received several submissions like this before, and I braced myself for yet another lament on dating.After a while, you've dated so many people that not only do they become a blur, but you're reduced to using the most superficial criteria to distinguish them.'Oh good, this guy is taller than the last few guys I dated.' 'Oh no, she has very thin eyebrows.I believe that the first step toward remedying the problem should be increasing the awareness of the issue through open dialogue.
When I finished reading the young woman's article, I took a moment to reflect on the many stories that I had read with the same message.One of the major problems with my rabbi's brand of marriage promotion is that his advice is often impractical and can lead to serious feelings of guilt and social insecurity.The young woman who wrote the aforementioned e-mail explained how she has felt an unhealthy pressure to wed ever since her time at a religious seminary in Jerusalem.I typed a short response telling the writer that she was among friends who sympathized with her.I thought about the loneliness she described, and about her feelings of pressure and dissatisfaction.