Cute online dating stories
These ideas are ubiquitous, from movies to the “how we met” section of a wedding’s RSVP website.
“If your relationship is not a beautiful romantic comedy (plot), it’s going to take more work to turn it into a coherent story that makes sense to others and has a positive ending.”Sharing the stories themselves is beneficial because it produces a sense of “we-ness,” which means a strong identification with the relationship.
Stories represent the way the jigsaw puzzle of two different lives fit together, Panattoni says.
And, ultimately the “we story” is likely predictive of success if both partners agree.
This manifests as a shared recollection with which couples seem to share an unspoken agreement of the significance of the moment, and these first encounter memories “anchor a couple’s story and reflect the current and future hopes of a relationship,” according to a 2010 study in the journal Memory.
That survey of 267 adults from age 20-85 found memories that were more vivid, positive and emotionally intense were related to higher marital satisfaction.
“I think I was somewhat, a little, embarrassed about how we met.”For Chandra, a social work student at Ryerson University, the meet-cute is superficial.“Being concerned about the manner in which you met is superficial compared to the substance of the relationship itself,” she says.
Tinder and similar apps have revolutionized romance including the how-we-met story, which is now just a swipe away.
They remember negatives about the relationship but they glorify the struggle,” said Lawrence Stoyanowski, a Vancouver-based couples therapist and Master Certified Gottman Trainer at the Gottman Institute in Seattle, Wash.
“How a couple met is less important than whether there was positivity and negativity surrounding how they met.”American clinical psychologist John Gottman suggested 25 years ago the “story of us” could provide significant clues about the stability of a relationship.
They concocted “a ridiculous story” to create something rosier out of what felt utilitarian compared to others.
Sullivan’s mom is an emergency room nurse and her father was an injured patient.